And the Winner is.........

Rozie has become the master self feeder as you can see. In the hair, on the face, and all over her clothes, but we are so excited because she can lift that little chubby hand of hers to her yogurt and with all the concentration in the world she somehow gets the yogurt on the spoon and with such excitement she gets it to her mouth. Hooray Rozie you are officially a big girl now , You Win!!

And you know what we need to pick another winner! I want to take this time to thank all my readers for donating to the Friendship Circle and supporting such an amazing cause. Drum roll please the winner of the family t-shirt package is .......... Shosh K. I will email you with all the details MAZEL TOV! Please remember even with the giveaway over you can still donate to this amazing cause here.

Birthday Blessings

I have never made a birthday celebration for myself before. This year i did. A grand party with all of my closest friends, and the ones living far away were there in heart. We sang, spoke some words of Torah, and gave out lots and lots of Birthday Brachos. A night to remember.

I want to post more and with a lot more pictures, but its Friday and Shabbos is coming so it will have to wait. I do want to take this moment to wish all my readers, friends, and family a special Birthday blessing. I bench that each and every one of you are filled to the very top with all you need and want, that your health and happiness over flows, and in everything you do you find meaning and understanding,may your connection to Hashem deepen, and your understanding of this world becomes clear. May all of you with kinderlach continue to receive more and more and more Chasidishe Yiddishe Nachas from your children , and for those of you close to my heart struggling to have sweet kinder in your home may Hashem grant you more children than you can count. Each and everyone should be benched with Gashmius and Ruchnius, and each and everyone of us should together with Ahavas Yisroel merit the coming of Moshiach right now!

Please don't forget my Fundraiser today is the last day t 8 pm to enter the giveaway, but you can continue to donate and sponsor the ride!.Click here in case you missed it.

4 days to donate $4 dollars for the Friendship Circle

When Rozie was born i needed support.

I had a strong urge to relate with others, to unfold my worries and fears with friends riding in the same boat, and in the same ocean. At that time we did not have a local Friendship Circle chapter so I called up the one in Crown Heights and asked if our family could become honorary members, and of course we were welcomed with open arms. You can learn more about the Friendship Circle here.We went to our first event Chanukah time when Rozie was about 5 months old. I remember packing for that weekend and trying to find the perfect outfit for my little one.

I was nervous and worried, this would be Rozie's premiere and our families premiere into the special needs community, and i wasn't sure i was ready to join that community yet. Sure i loved my daughter and accepted her diagnosis but i wasn't sure if i was ready to take a nose dive into this family, this community. I was a special needs mom now and i was still shaky with that title.

I'll never forget when i walked into the doors of the party. I expected a small get together of families in a basement or a rec room somewhere, but instead i entered into a ball. The party was in the Jewish Children's Museum and it was done up for royalty. There were crafts on one floor, a banquet on another, and around every corner were teen volunteers running booths and games. When we entered the main floor, teen volunteers ran up to us and started oohhing and ahhhing over my Rozie and quickly swooped her from my arms as if she was the queen of Sheba, but that was not it.

Here is what sold me and why the Friendship Circle will forever have a place in my heart. As quickly as these wonderful teen volunteers took my Rozie to show her all the wonders of the night they also scooped up my Dovie to show him the sights.

See the Friendship Circle is not just about the child with special needs but the entire family, and that is where they sold me. They are an amazing organization that links families with teen volunteers that come into your home and treat your children like the kings and queens they are. They include every child, because when a child with special needs is born into a family it affects every member of the family. A family is a complete unit, every child included, and the Friendship Circle recognizes that. I love that.

I'm going to do something here today that i have never asked before on this blog and honestly i wasn't sure how to approach it, but it means so much to me that i have to ask.


Right now the Friendship Circle is running an amazing campaign. Three Rabbis are biking across the country to raise money for the Friendship Circle, read about it here. Let me make that crystal clear... Three bearded Rabbis are riding their Bicycles, not motorcycles, across the country. I'm lucky if i can ride a bike down my driveway with out calling for help. These 3 young men are taking their summer to help their favorite organization that happens to also be my favorite, and i'm hoping all of you will also want to help. These bikers (i feel like i'm talking about motorcycle gang, every time i say "bikers") are trying to raise $4.00 dollars for every mile they ride. So i'm going to ask all of you to sponsor a mile, $4.00 dollars that is it. It costs more to buy one of those fancy coffee drinks that are all chocolaty and milky with a huge dollop of pure fat whipped cream on top, yeah they are delicious, but instead that $4.00 dollars could be used to help an organization that will be there for my Rozie, and for my family. It is so easy to do, just click here and donate.


In honor of this great event the Friendship Circle is sponsoring a Giveaway here at MyShtub. An amazing family prize package:
*One Mens T-shirt here ( just like the bikers wear)
*One Women's T-shirt here
*One Child size T-shirt here ( like Rozie and Dovie are wearing) that is also the softest tee in the world, because it is a "sensory" tee for little ones that are sensitive to rough fabrics, seams, and tags.
*One Wrist band here (like my stylin Mel is wearing)
All printed with the Saying "Imprint the World" with acceptance, don't you just love that.
All you have to do to enter is donate, and for every mile you donate you get an entry. You donate $12, you get 3 entries and so on. You get the idea.
You will have 4 days to enter 4 dollars , so hurry up!
1. Go to "Bike 4 Friendship" and donate here
2. Come back here to MyShtub and comment that you donated (if you do not feel comfortable leaving a public comment you can email me at myshtub@gmail.com)
3. Leave a separate comment for every mile you sponsor.
Good luck this contest will end this Friday evening at 8PM EST (on my Hebrew Birthday , BTW)

Tipping the scale

This will be the summer to remember. Not because we are doing anything spectacular like going on a kosher cruise around the world ( oh that would be nice), but because it is summer and memories are made in the summer.

Most of my childhood memories are based around summer events. I think living in a state where the summer is perpetually never ending helps, but even so i still associate childhood with summer. Swimming in our pool even after dark, home made grape juice ice pops, and sitting in front of the cool air vent that would blow my hair straight back like riding on a motorcycle.

Jumping into the pool with all my clothes on after the short but hot dirt road walk home from the school bus. With my children i try to be a memory maker. I want them to look back at their childhood and smile. I don't want the memories to be of the long months mommy spent in bed.


I want their memories to be of the time their parents piled them all up the light rail train and we went downtown to see their most favorite singer live in concert.

How their mommy somehow sweet talked her family backstage, and now they'll have pictures they'll never forget.

I think my sweet ones deserved it.


I want them to remember all the friends that join our life , for Shabbos visits and concerts i convinced them to join us for.


I want their summer memories to be of us all cheering on the top of our lungs for Rozie because she started taking little wobbly steps.

I want to control the memories , but i cant so i try to take away the balance. I don't want their to be equal good and bad times i want the scales to tip the good side. I figure bad memories are inevitable but at least that cup will be mostly empty and the good cup will flow over out and onto the floor, and in the end when memories are stored and tucked away i'm sure my little sweet ones will not forgot backstage with MATISYHU Whooo Hoooo!

Married in New York

To every end there is a beginning. I know that sounds cheesy but it is often true. My closest friend got married last week and it is an end to her Baltimore life and a new beginning for her as a married New Yorker.

I need to give some background and why i'm sharing with the world about this wedding. You see this wasn't just Nechama Dina's wedding this was MY Nechama Dina's wedding. Yes i'm taking claim.


Have you ever met someone that is so selfless that it often blows you away? This is my Nechama Dina. Have you ever met someone that would give you the world and expect nothing in return? This is my Nechama Dina. I only met her a few years ago when she became my assistant teacher, she was a young girl full of energy and great ideas ( and an awesome organizer). Now she is a wife.

She is 10 years younger than me and has always felt like my sister , and trust me she didn't need another sister she has 9 others, but she had no choice in the matter.

Nechama Dina has been with me in some of my hardest times. She has spent many long hospital nights sleeping on the hospital floor with me, because i wouldn't leave Rozie's side.

She spent many nights sleeping in a stiff hospital chair next to my bed when i was at my worst mentally and physically , and she still came the next day even when i probably wasn't so kind to her or anybody else the night before ( chemo can make you a monster).

I couldn't go to her engagement party because i was too weak and sick from my treatments , that was heartbreaking for me. But because this is Nechama Dina she showed up at my house after her party with her chassan ( groom) and we had our own party on my deck on that beautiful warm summer night.

My children love her as if her blood runs through their veins and even though she isn't an actual relative don't tell them because they have no doubt in their minds that she is their aunt and her new husband is their uncle.


When it was time for her wedding Hashem blessed me with my "miracle" and my energy came back quickly. I did everything i could for her, and i wish i could of done more. We went to flower appointments, and shopping for outfits.

We picked out her wig together and I helped her put it on ( a few times , it takes practice people).


I did her centerpieces and helped her with colors. I wish i could have done more.
Nechama Dina isn't here anymore she moved to New York to start her new life as a wife, and Baltimore feels a little empty. Thank Hashem Crown Heights is only a few hours away.

( all my Crown Heights readers, if you see MY Nechama Dina on the streets make sure you say Mazel Tov, she deserves it)

Light

Here is sit ready to post again and i cant. Its been a few days im not even sure how many im so out of it,Leiby, little sweet Leiby. What draws me to this boy, why has it been so hard for me and many others to let go. I did not know his family, i don't know anyone else that knows his family. I don't live in New York and I've only been to Borough Park to shop, yet my loss is so heavy for this little stranger. I haven't slept well the last few nights because i have been up to late searching all the websites for more information. I honestly don't know what im looking for, Leiby is gone, he was murdered in a horrible way, and there is nothing left to do, but i keep looking. I keep hoping and i'm not sure for what. A glimmer maybe, something to add a spec of light to this tragic darkness. I want to read that they have medical proof that he did not suffer and was not scared, i want a personal letter from Hashem telling us all its ok and Leiby is happy and not to worry anymore. I want something but im not getting it, i need to stop reading the follow up news and get some sleep my body is wearing down.
There is a connection in our community that is like a long chain made of many different links that bind us all together. Our nation has been through a lot and we have rejoiced and suffered together. So when one of our own is hurt we all feel it,we are missing a link in our eternal chain.
This morning my kids built a "boat" with couch cushions. I watched them struggle to maneuver the large pillows, they were so excited to build this great ship. I was watching from the bare couch and my son looked at me and said "mommy aren't you going to take pictures"? because this is what i do i take 1000s of pictures of my kids all day everyday, and he was shocked that i wasn't capturing every moment of the "great ship".


I didn't want to take pictures it felt so weird to move on when i know their is a part of our chain missing and a family feeling such agony over their missing link. I felt guilty like i wasn't ready to go back to my own life, but i have to and i snapped away.
One of the things that struck me when the Fogel family was brutality murdered in their own home by terrorist, was the attitude of the Country. Israel did not recoil in fear and leave the great lands that were given to us by Hashem himself,and they did not retaliate and attack a Palestinian family in the same horrific way. Israel said theses simple words " We will continue to build". This hit me hard at first because i was shocked that at this dark time the country was only thinking of land, dirt and water. Then i realized the meaning. Its not just the physical building but the spiritual.
We will continue to build if you strike us down we will only grow more.This is the way of the Jewish people and the Lubavitcher Rebbe only encouraged us to grow, to conquer the bad , to want more. I know the Rebbe would of wanted us to bring light in this dark time, and it doesn't matter who you are Lubavitch or not, bring light.
Leiby's loss was tragic beyond words. The darkness is so dark that we can not see our own two hands, but they are there. Today i will bring light. I don't know how, i don't know what, but i will start to try to light this world again. We are the lamplighters and the lamps need to be lit. Please take it on yourself, bring some light and start today.

(my little light)